The day I was discharged from the hospital, I was all excited and happy to be home. I did not think of the challenges that might come and I assumed I was able to manage it well. But as night falls, I started to worry and I cried in front of my MIL and hubby. I told them, "I felt lost." Well, of course, the main reason was not about diaperinng or other stuff but mainly, feeding. I was on total breastfeed and I was worried that she did not get enough. The cause of this worry came from the every-one-hour feeding. To think back, it could probably be the unsatisfying colostrum in the beginning. I wanted to give up breastfeeding as it really hurt. It is either that I did not latch her on properly or she did not open her mouth wide enough. I could not choose this option as she refused the formula when my Mom gave it to her. I have to wake up almost every hour to feed her and I got so tired and exhausted, not to mention the pain of my nipps due to her sucking.
While it is perfectly normal to feel lost as a first time Mom, I am glad I have people to guide me along and render help whenever I need them. As milk kicks in (no longer colostrum), I no longer need to feed her every hour. It gets more regular to 2 to 3 hours per feed (the average feeding interval). In addition, I tried the breast pump and am using it frequently now to pump out milk for storage in case I could not feed her physically or am too tired to do so. Just yesterday night, Claire was taken care of throughout the night by my MIL and I managed to sleep more. However, I do still wake up in the middle of the night as my hubby is at work (still not back yet as I am typing this) and I really miss him lots.Another wakening call was the engorgement.
Engorgement causes my breasts to be sore, hard and painful. It is as if I am sleeping with two rocks - the weight that matters. I do not have the habit of wearing a bra to sleep, just like most women, as it is rather uncomfortable. And recently, milk has been leaking when it gets too sore. I know just when the milk is about to leak as there is some tensed feeling followed by a sensation which tells you that milk is gushing from the milk ducts. I woke up this morning at approx. 5am to pump out the milk and it really relieved the pain (since Claire is with my PIL, I didn't get to breastfeed her). It is pretty amazing cos your breast would become 'soft' again after pumping out the milk! :D Nonetheless, I still try to give an alternate between direct feeding and refrigerated breastmilk (warmed before feeding). Afterall, direct feeding is still the best for the baby. Just to share another astounding fact when one breast feeds - milk will leak at the other breast too! This also applies when one is pumping the milk with the electric or manual pump! Can you just imagine? I would put a storage cup at one of my breasts and hold it with my sleepwear so both my hands can move (initially I would place a handkerchief to prevent it from leaking onto my sleepwear), while I pump the milk at the other breast. Brilliant me, isn't it? haha
Anyway, my FIL loves Claire so much that I reckon it was a great night to be with her. MIL shared what FIL did and he actually watched her sleeping expressions for an hour before going back to sleep! Sweet.
Alright, shall stop here.. Ciaos!
P.S: Bringing another being to this world and giving him/her life is the most fulfilling moment of your entire life. You know the pain you endured is all worthwhile. The next step you have to be responsible for - his/her upbringing :)
