Entry 579: The running thoughts never stop you from reminding how vulnerable things are.

Some things happened to remind you that they won't ever stay for always.

They came to tell you that they are temporary tenants.

 

We ain't sure if they come for good. We ain't sure if we're gonna say goodbye with smiling or crying faces. We ain't sure if goodbyes gonna be a long awaited day or hopefully-won't-come day.

 

We expected the separation and outcome, but it becomes tough still when that day finally comes. It never seems well-prepared after all you reminded these while.

 

Then.. came some harsh truth you learnt that you finally am willing to unleash yourself from the moments you felt were tearing you apart from. You know they are gonna happen, so embrace it with head held high, smile hang wide :)

 

Time doesn't stop ticking for those who ripped your soul, so pick yourself up and move on as bravely as you have all the time.

 

 

 

 

*A lil reminder and encouragement to all those who felt baffled by life's events. It hasn't taken its toll on you and never will if you trudge on fiercely. FIGHTING!! <3

 

Entry 578: 淡了

愛情久了 責任多了
變成負擔 如何對待
曾經猶如流水 說出的甜言蜜語
如今卻想幹掉的河水 不再有了

是否在一起久了 感情淡了
一起擁有的時間也不再重要了
看見街上甜甜蜜蜜的男男女女
發現我們不再像以往
離開的那麼難分難捨
再見 你我說得特別容易

想念的話語漸漸少了
對話也祇剩簡單問候
話題變得乏味
乾脆不說了...

Entry 577: 往事不会说谎 就不要再为难

Been five months I havent log on to this site.. Hope all's well. 

Just a sudden urge to post again. It's Friday, I should be looking forward. Part of me yeah.. But part of me.. It just feels .. Messy? 

There are things I shouldnt say or specify. Just feel that I need a reason to smile every day. People come and go.. Friends? My ladies have always been somewhere.. But work, family and life got us tied down more than it did 6years ago. We have our own commitments and other cliques of friends now.. Time I thought we should have a maintenance check, we just couldnt gather all to meet up. 

Well, as for work, new term has started. Trying to keep on track and hopefully I will manage my time better ! As for the current batch of children, I think my discipline for them is enough, if parents decided not to reinforce at home, I'll just leave the child to the hands of his own fate and consequences. Teachers are human.. Just because of the recent incident, Parents get judgemental, doubtful and untrusting. Well, most parents of my class's children are ok with my chinese partner and I still though. I think we should all reflect.. Yes, patience is one of the values that an educator must have. But i emphasize we are all humans. Considering someone repeatedly did something you have explained and said "No" or "Cannot", and the person still continues.. Wont your 'volcano' erupt? 'Nough said. 

Marriage is, well, alright. Not all sweet moments but still communicating. Claire is mischievous and is pretty bad in discipline. Maybe I set too high an expectation to want to discipline her at her bare age of 1. She hardly understands the construction of this world. All we can do is to observe and watch out for her during her exploration. 

Feelings wise.. Like I mentioned.. im confused with what I am feeling or how I feel many times now. Things that I shouldnt expect much, I know yet I cant help thinking.. How great if I could have it all! Laughs. Probably probably.. Probably.. It is the works of stress that got me mixed up. Maybe the imbalanced life haunted me so much. Maybe the thought of running away from those issues got me feeling uneasy. 

I dont know.. Haha. Smiling wide when I still can. Cos I never know when tears will fall. 

You too, the one reading this now.

Smile :) I believe it will wipe some unhappiness away. Maybe not all, but just a small amount will be great ! 

Happy Friday everyone <3

A song to share..

http://youtu.be/LWV-f6dMN3Q

Entry 576: Why?

I wonder why do I still keep this blog which appears to be more or less, expired.

 

Probably to pen down random thoughts like what I'm doing right now.

Yep, it's late and I should be sleeping by now as I'm working opening shift tomorrow.

But I can't seem to find an outlet to let out my thoughts.. and then.. I thought of my long-neglected companion.

 

 

 

 

These 2 consecutive CNY have brought back some unhappy memory to me. I will not fail to recall out in a sudden what I did, what happened, and how our lives changed approximately two years ago.

 

I wonder, why.. Why do I feel that the love is insufficient? I know how much he loves and cares.. but times.. I just wonder.. why dont he show more affection and spend more time with me? His presence.. it means a lot to me.

 

Even now.. we're married.. There are times I feel lonely and he wasn't there for me. I never fail to think.. "Why is he not here when I need him so?" 

 

Love probably needs a lot of maintanence. A LOT. But who is really prepared to take on that commitment? You're talking about a lifetime. Spending the rest of your life with the same person. Dedicating and devoting all of you and yours to him and only him. Can you?

 

I recently saw this video on the longest married couples. 86years, 84years, 77years..

Their bottom line is "Don't cheat on your spouse."

 

I always give some thoughts to this.. a lifetime seriously? With the same person? I gave myself some pre-assumption that there will be one day he got sick of me and went out to look for another girl just to relive to heart-throbbing and anticipated type of romance. I guess I probably would to.

 

But deep down, I know I'll still stick with him no matter what happens. Cos he is the one who will stay by me. Maybe not really physically there all the time.. but throuh those ups and downs,through our living years, I believe he will be.

 

My daughter is our joy. Yes, frustrations are unavoidable when you are with children, especially infants. They can get so mischievous that it simply annoys you. They could even get on your nerves!

 

But she is what bonds us together. When we were in a heated conversation, her smile and ignorance playful laugh and actions will calm us down. And in the end, we all burst out laughing together. She is that awesome.

 

Alrights! I shall put a fullstop to this post.

Goodnight old friends.. Sweet dreams~ <3

 

 

 

Entry 575: Our first China trip!

Have you ever been to a country that citizens there commented you look local? Well, I joked about it with a lil irritance that I was back to my 'homeland'. LOL!

 

Well, even before going China, I ever look into the mirror and asked my mom several times.. "Why do I look so much like a China girl?"

 

Not to degrade the nationality or what but I don't want to be one. I'm proud to be a Singaporean chinese. (You might start to date back to centuries ago when all our great grands are from China) What bothers me was that this nationality isn't too well-like to start with! >.<

 

But good thing, ShenZhen, where I went.. is filled with many good and polite servers, salesperson..

 

The only things I cannot stand are their traffic rules, road manners, and salt-ish food.

There IS a reason why China nationals are more prone to road accident in SG. Just go and experience it yourself. The answer is obvious.

 

Humans have to give way to vehicles. And well, interestingly.. this was what I noticed..

Human -> Vehicle -> Stray Dog

LOL!

 

There are of course, lots to compliment too!

 

I have to say, their customer service is much better than SG's!

Two instances to share..

 

China:

 

I wanted to put back the thing I took from a section of the Walmart (supermarket) and the staff there walked up to me and offered to put it back for me.

 

SG:

 

No one bothers if you needa put back anything. They'll just let you do the job by yourself.

 

-----

 

China:

 

Hubby and I took a cab back to my FIL's company's apartment and we apologised to the driver for not letting him know earlier that it was a left turn instead of a right. The driver replied that it wasn't our fault. It was his.

 

SG:

 

Driver will most likely to say, "Next time say earlier la!"

 

-----

 

You see the difference?

haha.

 

Initial plan was to head to HK in one of the days of our stay there but Hubby fell sick the day we intended to go over.. so, decided to stay home with Hubby and BabyClaire.

 

Went to Window of the World.. the only tourist attraction place we went! >.<