Entry 584: There will always be "Once in a while..."

Once in a while, I will browse through my blog and read and recall what happened in my life. It isn't too difficult to update in this manner. Cos I only pen down when I really have things bothering me or have been bothering me for long enough to  make me blog it.

And so... Pregnancy isn't a all-wonderful and all-amazing journey. It isn't always sweetness (for me) and being EXTRA paranoid seems to be affecting us a lot. It feels like I'm gonna push him further away if it does turn out to be an argument, worse, a heated one. But I'm glad, none really got that bad. (I hope none will even in the future)

My confidence level plunge. My self-esteem and self-worth seem to decrease a whole lot. I can figure out some of the causes but I just can't bring myself to make changes every day. Considering that a pregnant wife should be the one forgiven and understood, instead of the one making compromises. Yes, relationship works two ways. But I can't deny I still need that bit of assurance and security to pull through this phase AGAIN. This isn't my first pregnancy, and I shouldn't be that fearful. But honestly, I fear more now then I previously had during my first pregnancy. I was more cheerful and more energetic and active. But now, I'm just slipping in my big and comfy or auntie or mismatch pieces that even I kinda get turn off at times. I don't wanna look into the mirror cos I can't stand the haggard look. But one thing after my stormy days, I begin to love the hassle-free naked face, especially when I wanna catch extra minutes to sleep or rest or when I'm in a hurry or when the weather is really damn damn hot and humid.

Well, I guess I'm just not into dolling up in this long 40weeks period. I can't stand the oil secretion after certain hours with the cosmetics on my face. My face seems to be screaming for help!!

I think Faith is going to be a brave and strong girl. For whatever negative feelings I have, I persuade myself everything's gonna be alright. I will make my way back to the confident and outgoing me, in a good way of course. Im weak-minded. I admit. And I can't stand slight betrayal or negligence now. There are things I can't guarantee. History repeats itself when you do not learn your mistakes and find solutions to prevent it from happening again.

Words are cheap. Promises are shallow. The only substance is to continuously show and prove yourself worth.

That said, I am motivated to regain my confidence and be proud of myself as a mom of two. Daddy of two, I gave away my youth and figure for their existence. Please take good care of my like how you will to the two of them.





Love,
Wayne.

Entry 583: And both of us grinned ear to ear..

Was in a dilemma -  to have or not to have?

He said, "People do no know, and they grieve when they lost theirs. But only doctor's instinct can tell that the reason why it did not survive was because it has some abnormalities that if he/she were to be given birth, he/she will suffer."

他说：“大多数的人都为了流走的那个难过哭泣。但医生知道他/她会死的原因是因为他/她不够健全，所以选择不要来到世界上受苦。"

Lets just hope all will be well.


P.s: 宝宝，要知道不管别人说什么，你是爹地妈咪期待已久的。当我们知道你的存在时，我们都笑了。希望你在妈咪肚子里健康强壮的成长。你要做个正常又快乐的人、孝顺父母、尊敬长辈、人见人爱。爱你哟！

Entry 582: Merry Post X'mas and Happy Boxing day

Boxing day.. Somewhat like a second Christmas and it is in some European countries.

How was your Christmas this year? I am hoping to receive 2014 Christmas with merrier hearts (: you?

But before 2014 comes, I wanna celebrate with my friends, my dear sisters.. Hopefully I could get at least one or two of them to join me in counting down..! (and if Hubby approves)

Have started binging a lil.. *laughs* never ending.. As usual I continued to eat even when I said I want to diet >-<

oh wells.


Went to Hubb's workplace to wait for him to knock off.. Then off we go to RWS's newly opened Slappycakes. Peeps do check out the new outlet ya! It is located at Waterfront Station, near to the water fountain there!

Oh this photo with Claire was taken at Grandstand's Vitala. Pardon her crudeness. HAHA!

 

@ RWS's Slappy cakes..

 

Gonna miss the bunch of people at M.A.D and SC there..

How they play and tease Claire.. ^^

 

Til then.. HAPPY BOXING DAY!

Entry 581: The grumbz..

On second thought, probably I should really put that on hold. No doubts I really want to, and partly due to other reasons, I wished it could go as 'plan'. But a plan aint a plan when I know it is gonna add on to what's already on my shoulder.

 

I can't help thinking if I should just skip the next year and probably another just to ensure everything will be more smooth-sailing if there should be any changes in our lives. Afterall, there are other stuff to factor in.. the list goes on..

 

Well, for the least he should understand where I am coming from and give me some assurance. Not that he didn't emotionally.. but we're talking about a future not just for the two of us. It has never been just the two of us anyways.

 

Stopped clubbing so often. Though this clubbing craze was short-lived. Started beginning of this year and reducing it a whole lot even before it hits six months of crazy night life. Yep, it is good to stop going out at night to those 'messy' places. But life hasn't been exactly awesome after that. Work tied me down a lil.. tried to catch up with this marriage with him and maintain other household stuff. Got tired many times.. but still surviving. Yes, that's partly the reason that idea is gonna put on hold.

 

Perhaps I should continue my hardcore dieting ;x LOL nah just joking.. just stop binging! haha

 

Alright, time to turn in to bed.. gotta wake up on time to dry the laundry too.. Life as a young working wife and mom and maid.. (if only I get paid ;p)

 

 

P.s. I'd probably do better if I were bitch enough.. too bad, I can't and ain't >.<

Entry 580: You'd never be ready and well-prepared enough until that thing really happen to you.

Probably it is time to decide which to give and which to take...

Bound to be times in life you get into a dilemma and just cant decide without feeling you may regret.
It seems neither here nor there but just gotta go for it. No matter how tough, believe we will pull through.

Goodbye but welcome.

Entry 579: The running thoughts never stop you from reminding how vulnerable things are.

Some things happened to remind you that they won't ever stay for always.

They came to tell you that they are temporary tenants.

 

We ain't sure if they come for good. We ain't sure if we're gonna say goodbye with smiling or crying faces. We ain't sure if goodbyes gonna be a long awaited day or hopefully-won't-come day.

 

We expected the separation and outcome, but it becomes tough still when that day finally comes. It never seems well-prepared after all you reminded these while.

 

Then.. came some harsh truth you learnt that you finally am willing to unleash yourself from the moments you felt were tearing you apart from. You know they are gonna happen, so embrace it with head held high, smile hang wide :)

 

Time doesn't stop ticking for those who ripped your soul, so pick yourself up and move on as bravely as you have all the time.

 

 

 

 

*A lil reminder and encouragement to all those who felt baffled by life's events. It hasn't taken its toll on you and never will if you trudge on fiercely. FIGHTING!! <3

 

Entry 578: 淡了

愛情久了 責任多了
變成負擔 如何對待
曾經猶如流水 說出的甜言蜜語
如今卻想幹掉的河水 不再有了

是否在一起久了 感情淡了
一起擁有的時間也不再重要了
看見街上甜甜蜜蜜的男男女女
發現我們不再像以往
離開的那麼難分難捨
再見 你我說得特別容易

想念的話語漸漸少了
對話也祇剩簡單問候
話題變得乏味
乾脆不說了...