I wonder why do I still keep this blog which appears to be more or less, expired.
Probably to pen down random thoughts like what I'm doing right now.
Yep, it's late and I should be sleeping by now as I'm working opening shift tomorrow.
But I can't seem to find an outlet to let out my thoughts.. and then.. I thought of my long-neglected companion.
These 2 consecutive CNY have brought back some unhappy memory to me. I will not fail to recall out in a sudden what I did, what happened, and how our lives changed approximately two years ago.
I wonder, why.. Why do I feel that the love is insufficient? I know how much he loves and cares.. but times.. I just wonder.. why dont he show more affection and spend more time with me? His presence.. it means a lot to me.
Even now.. we're married.. There are times I feel lonely and he wasn't there for me. I never fail to think.. "Why is he not here when I need him so?"
Love probably needs a lot of maintanence. A LOT. But who is really prepared to take on that commitment? You're talking about a lifetime. Spending the rest of your life with the same person. Dedicating and devoting all of you and yours to him and only him. Can you?
I recently saw this video on the longest married couples. 86years, 84years, 77years..
Their bottom line is "Don't cheat on your spouse."
I always give some thoughts to this.. a lifetime seriously? With the same person? I gave myself some pre-assumption that there will be one day he got sick of me and went out to look for another girl just to relive to heart-throbbing and anticipated type of romance. I guess I probably would to.
But deep down, I know I'll still stick with him no matter what happens. Cos he is the one who will stay by me. Maybe not really physically there all the time.. but throuh those ups and downs,through our living years, I believe he will be.
My daughter is our joy. Yes, frustrations are unavoidable when you are with children, especially infants. They can get so mischievous that it simply annoys you. They could even get on your nerves!
But she is what bonds us together. When we were in a heated conversation, her smile and ignorance playful laugh and actions will calm us down. And in the end, we all burst out laughing together. She is that awesome.
Alrights! I shall put a fullstop to this post.
Goodnight old friends.. Sweet dreams~ <3