The sacrifices I have to make for each of you.
The scars and marks that add on each time..
If it wasn't for love, what could it be?
As the days drag.. I become impatient and every day, I'll be asking and hoping that she will finally decide to come to this world to meet me in my arms. Yet each day fails me and the wait seems to get longer.
For the past few nights, I have been feeling her increased movements and that probably means she won't be out yet. Today, she moved a little lesser than yesterday. Should I see it as a good sign? :D
Haven't been very tolerant with Claire. She is impatient, perhaps inherited by me :/
She gets frustrated so easily and she kept saying, "uh oh" with those annoying noises which made me want to throw away everything that are making her whine. Her daddy on the other hand, is being more patient and loving and playing with her. He gave her all the attention when he is awake and it seems to be too unacceptable for me. Where is the love and care I need him to shower on me too?
Well, I have a friend who told me not to feel too bad about my husband loving his daughter more. She was treated in a way which disgusts her, thus I can't deny her kind advice. Still, I love Claire. It is just that.. I have lesser patience for her. I want discipline to be enforced in certain ways. I don't like some of her bad habits. They don't do her good. She is only 2 but she is a fast learner in many ways. I corrected many things about how my husband should communicate with her. He spoils her by giving in too much. He does scold her at times but it isn't consistent and she doesn't learn.
There are times too, that I will try to put it across to her nicely, in a light mood. I do have times that I am calmer than the people who are agitated by her. It is not all about hard disciplinary methods. But people around need to be cooperative.
Whatever she does that is unacceptable or considered rude, I will tell people at the scene not to laugh as she will find it okay to continue with that behaviour. I just wish to say, I don't mean restricting everything. Fun doesn't mean being rude. I hope she understands one day.
I am thinking of ways to bring Claire and Faith closer together. I will most likely be so worn out when Faith arrives that my patience and energy level will drop drastically.
To Claire,
If mommy ever scolds you wrongly or ignores you, please forgive me. When you grow older and read this post, do understand my situation k? I'm sorry darling. I love you so much to just let you stray. I may focus too much on meimei and neglect you when time comes but I will try my best to balance it. Don't ever think that I am bias. I'll shower love and care for you as well as for daddy and meimei. I will not be bias like daddy xD I love you, Claire.
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