Entry 563: They who did not receive our hands..

Ok, this is going to be long. But read on as I really wish to voice this out to the world.

I hate this sound. I shout and yell and scream when this buzz in my ear.

I can't take this change. Why is my routine disrupted?

I don't like this voice. It is shouting at me when I don't even know why.

I am hungry but the people couldn't understand me. I cry and cry and all they want is me to shut my mouth.

I am just expressing myself. Why do the people say I am misbehaving?

I am only showing my emotions. Why do the people say I am in the wrong?

Have you heard all these unspoken words?

Or have you heard them sounding for help in the people who have certain disorder?

A recent bus incident about a man who pushed down an old lady made me ponder a lil' deeper.

We arrowed the fault at the man who (by convention) IS in the wrong to do what he has done to the old lady, but we truly, did not understand and can NEVER understand his situation.

All we would say is that if he has the disorder, he should just stay at home. Or, probably, we would think that he made up the medical conditions to escape the blaming fingers from the people.

My husband told me this as we argued about people having disorders like this man. He insisted with the example that, "So if he were to kill someone, he could just escape with the sheer excuse that he is sick?" Then he added on, "If he knows he has a disorder, he should just stay home."

I was feeling a bit sad when I heard that. Yet, I couldn't deny the way he feels.

Allow me to share my own experience as a childcare teacher.

When I just took over the last batch of 4-years-old in 2011. I had a child with behavioural and speech issues, a child who refuses to respond to teachers or other adults besides his parents, a child who is very slow in his development and repeat questions instead of answering them, and.... a child with autism.

I took diploma in Early Childhood Education. I graduated with a GPA of 3.4. One of my modules covered special education. I raised the issue in one of my current studies assignment (graded A+)regarding a child who needs special attention in class but was neglected (a scene I saw with my own eyes during field practicum). I took the topic of "Inclusion" as my research topic with my group (another Grade A assignment). BUT, I couldn't say that I understand and is prepared to take on children who are not developing typically in a mainstream classroom. All I had attained.. was theory that I couldn't put into practice.

Let's just look at the small classroom of 20 children I had last year. I couldn't manage inclusion and I heard myself repeating, "Stay away from xxx, unless you want to be beaten by him." or "leave him alone" or even shouting at him to stop wailing. I failed to see his anxiety in any forms of changes or discomfort. I failed to include him. But I know, I can't blame myself totally. I am not a trained teacher in inclusion. I am not trained to take on children with special needs. I could only feel the ache and frustration, and there is only little I could contribute then.

But one thing this child has.. A caring, understanding and accepting parents. They know there is something amiss and they heed the advice to go to the doctors. He was disgnosed. They sent him to Pathlight, a special school. He progressed gradually and remarkably. He is one of my favourite student now and every new thing he learns amazes me and other teachers and staffs in the centre. He received the early intervention which we urge is crucial and vital.

Back to the general category, or should I say let us touch on the adults with disorder. We could be more accepting and forgiving towards the children. However, we blamed the adults who behaved in a way we couldn't accept. We shut them out of the world; we leave them out of the society; we blame them for stepping into the real world and inflicting hurt to others. We failed to see.. that we are all rotten deep down trying to exclude all the people who are not as 'typical' as us.

Don't tell me you could empathise. Empathy happens only if you could understand how it feels to be in the person's shoes. Do you have that disorder? Did you experience the kind of judgement and treatment like he/she did? If not, we really did not know and could not feel how it is like to be that person. What's more.. most of the people couldn't see the 'abnormalities' in others and judge them quickly as naughty or bad.

They are humans. They grow older just like us. They need to do something for a living. They don't always have someone to take care of them. Eventually, people who take care of them will leave (by accident, nature or other circumstances). We can't just ask them to stay home, can we?

So now, who to be blamed?

Society? Parents who denied their disorder when they were young? Themselves? Or the one who created them?

There is no definite answer. But for a start, dear parents.. do not stay in that denial stage for too long as it only hinders the growth and development of your child. It affects his future greatly and depends a lot whether he will be accepted and treated right when he grows up. You are the first person to reduce his agony in the near future, do not leave him in the lurch.