Entry 497: Don't fall into the trap of the heart ...

[Extracted, edited, and translated from a chinese book, "Happy Thought [快乐思考力]"

Don't fall into the trap of the heart which told you and others around you to follow its will and way..

& give up the thought of asking others to follow your heart's instructions and commands.

Human experiences anger and frustration due to the fact that not everyone is willing to follow what he or she thinks and wants. This is common.

For example:

1) If we were to meet more frequently..

2) If my kids were to be more hardworking..

3) If my son were to be a lawyer or a doctor..

4) If she could do it this way..

These examples showed the tendency to want people to follow what you deem right yourself, in your own position and perspective. But it is not of that person you target at. This is one of the many causes to explain the frustration in you when things don't go your way.

Likewise, I believe you would not like to follow other's commands, unless you're at work and have to face your superior no matter what - for the sake of earning a living.

The likelihood of you refusing to follow yet expect others to do so according to your will is far more than you know. Often, you try to justify your expectations and instructions on others in a manner such as "This is for your own good.."

Heard that often? ^^

We tend to use "for your good sake" to get others do what we told them to do. We use LOVE to threaten the person, in a way that we thought was alright.

Let me give you a scenario..

Mdm Tan has a son who is entering the next phase of his education. She wanted him to study courses such as Law or Medicine but he wanted to study Fashion Design. She knows he has made up his mind but she feels that she needs to change his mind.

So she said, "Studying Law or Medicine is for your own good! You'll have a brighter future and earn a lot more! Can't you just go study one of those and let me have a peace of mind?"

..

The thought of "I did/said this for your own good" is actually more like.."For me, could you do this or that?"

Constantly thinking as you bring across your perspective and want... "Will he reject me?", or "How dare he go against my will!"

Why allow oneself to fall into such an unhappy state? Why do you wanna make yourself so pathetic and upset?

..

Allow me to say, that in everything, there is a better way to resolve things.

What you could do here is to provide support and encouragement. Provide more information pertaining to the situation. Back to the example, Mdm Tan can consider telling his son the different path's prospect, showing him what he could be or do after he graduates from the course of study.

..

In conclusion..

Humans are like the gases in the atmosphere.. We can't impose any control over it.

Don't be too harsh on yourself by getting others to follow your way..

Take it lightly and treat it as the undesired rainy weather when you have planned to go sentosa for a good tan (: