Entry 510: The Neutral Party.. Isn't that neutral..Is it??

The love you once embraced

The people you once trusted with all your heart

Only to realise, humans can be disgusting

Just like how I am to certain people.

Disgusted by my many actions and words

No doubt, I am no exception from being so flawed

p.s: Thanks boy, you gave me the reason to grow wiser

Do you remember the times we held our hands tight?

Do you remember the times we hugged warmly and be wrapped around each other's arms?

Do you remember the loves and misses we exchanged?

My dears, all of you played significant roles in my life.

You could be the one who warmed my heart

You could be the one who ignited the flame of anger or other emotions

You could be the one who enlightened me

You could be any of these..any of those..

Just remember, you were once in my life.

And you made an impact ..

You contributed to the girl you see now.

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Sometimes, we'd rather take neither sides.

And we chose to take a neutral stand

But it comes to me..

That being a neutral party..

Isnt a true concern

Perhaps, if you choose to be the middle person or someone who at least listen to the stories from both sides

You might reconsider taking no stands at all.

Not even in the middle

Cos sometimes, it's gonna be tough

There is no true balance in this neutralisation.

You will bound to hurt either party.

No one is a good mediator.

And the only best solution is the one generated from the two person directly involved.

We need friends along the way

Friends who will give us the comfort we need

Friends who will show us the way to hopes

Friends who will give us a lift when we couldn't seem to get back up.

It could be of a gentle pat

It could be of a harsh remark

It could be of any forms any tones..

But it boils down again..

To how genuine this concern is..

And to what extent?

Do they even know, they did something which you have never wished they would do..?

There is no distinctive indication as to what is right and what is not for many things

There is always a part of life where it is greyed

Neither here nor there..

And you'll wonder..

What is really expected of me?

What is it that HE has to offer for me now and next?

As much as I know..

HE has his reasons.. to make me go through all that I'm experiencing..

It is not simply to walk me through the growing journey..

But more than that..

Something only that voice deep down knows.

It is that miraculous

How we seem to understand yet don't..

For all the things in life..

We don't always get meanings out of it.

We don't always receive answers to our doubts.

But at least, with questions..

We start searching for a more enriching living.

It is what we called..

The reason to live.

p.s: If to breathe is to search for that unknown, I will live strongly til he shows me what that really is; believing its existence.